Sunday, January 18, 2015

Ode to 49

As I look ahead to the big 50,  I've decided to list what my 40s taught me.  So here my list;
1. Grey is the new black, or blonde, or red... 
2. Thinking I had my life in order, was just 40 placing a cruel joke on me. 
3. Changing jobs in your late 40s is perfectly fine! As long as your happy the universe is happy, or better yet your family 
4. Reading glasses are the newest fashion statement 
5. Be prepared for major life changes, they don't call it midlife for nothing 
6. More people will look at you crazy when you dance to music, especially your children (just stop, Mom!)
7. Speaking of children, it's your time to do the embarrassing so make it good!
8. Friends come and go, but the real ones will never leave and the new ones totally except you for who you are. 
9. Vacations are about you recharging your inner self, not Mickey and Minnie 
10. You lose people you love more often, to illness, even those your age. 
11. You look at pictures of when you thought your were fat and long to be that size again 
12. Diet Coke is replaced with Cabernet or Merlot, or who cares as long as there is a cork 
13. A long night out ends at 10
14. Sweat shirts and yoga pants are totally acceptable casual attire
15. Sunsets are masterpieces 
16. Long lines don't stress you out, it's a great time to catch up on Facebook 
17. Grocery carts have things in them like Almond milk, kale, and organic veggies alongside Cheetos 
18. Empty nest is a good thing 
19. Laundry is sorted according to importance, not type and color
20. Shaving took less time and pluckin takes more 
21. Exercise became a means to be able to get outta bed the next day 
22. Hearing loss is blamed on loud concerts you attended in your youth 
23. You refer to young people by the phrase " their generation" 
24. You believe less of what people say, more of what they do
25. You enjoy work
26. Time off is spent in fore mentioned sweatshirts and yoga pants. 
27. Hot flashes are for the reason you walk around in your panties and bra 
28. Midlife crisis does exist, looks who has motorcycles and sport cars 
29. Late night movies are for kids, past my bedtime 
30. You get addressed as Ma'am by everyone!
31. Speaking of pluckin hair, when did I start browning a beard? 
32. You remember when microwaves were invented and now it's your go to oven. Supper is served 
33. Your kids need you less, and you are perfectly fine with that
34. A trip away is a visit to see your kids 
35. You don't fight over what to watch on tv, you go to another room had watch what you want. 
36. Eating out is considered a daily routine
37. When you hear from an old friend, it's to find out who died or divorced or is in the hospital 
38. Pets are more spoiled than your kids 
39. Decorating is considered picking up the house
40. Sleeping in isn't possible anymore, not because of kids, but because your body has gotten up at 5 for most of the 365 days to go to work and your internal clock is SET
41. Life throws you curves, but you got your catchers mitt on and protective gear 
42. Muffin tops and biscuit cans mean nothing about food. 
43. Falling asleep sitting up is possible
44.  Spots and bruises appear on your body for no reason 
45. You have an arsenal of pain pills, happy pills and sleeping pills. 
46. You can read a book cover to cover without interruption
47. What you wear depends less on your mood and more on what you can fit into 
48. Your parents call you for advice 
49.  You are looking forward to 50!  It's closer to retirement. 
50. Sneezing, coughing at laughing too hard may require a change of clothes

Got more to add? Please share! 
50, here I come! ❤️

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